starsightings | Mailbox ♥

People often say they'd like to forget things - bad things, embarrassing things, and stuff like that. I think it's important to remember it all because our memories are part of what makes us who we are. Take away those memories and all of our experiences and are we even really the same people anymore?

[Who would have expected that Rinoa and Quistis would end up having deep practically philosophical discussions together?]

It's nice having something cute and not creepy.
Doomtrain still gives me the creeps.

I'll try to keep you from completely burying yourself in work all the time. Maybe you enjoy it, but fun stuff's called fun for a reason.
If you want to come over or go do something you can always give me a call you know.
I hope so! I'd like to think I've grown up a little since this whole thing started.

[Her name isn't Selphie, remember?]

I think sometimes it is reasonable to desire that.
But I think at the same time that memories will always remain, even if you forget.
They never completely disappear.

[ They just had to remove the obstacles that stopped them from it! ]

It's good that Selphie has monopoly on it, right?
Diablos makes me a little uneasy, too.

[ Quetzacoatl is a giant slug, but it doesn't bother her. And her time as an instructor has made her impervious to the form of Ifrit. ]

I appreciate the sentiment.
I consider paperwork "fun", too, though.
And you can call me, too? Though I don't think it would be a good idea to show up unannounced.
But you can meet me after work whenever? At the LEU or Kalmar.
I think you'd like my boss at Kalmar, come to think of it.
Also, I think we've all just refined ourselves. Evolved, metamorphosized. Not necessarily changed.
Though I sometimes feel like I'm going backwards instead of forwards.

[ The more certain she feels, the less certain she is? She had everything together before all of this started. Now everything has changed and she's not so sure what she'll do when it all ends. But... but somehow that's not scary any longer. Perhaps that's what she's taken away from this, that not everything has to be planned out? (And though she loves Selphie dearly? Thank the stars above for that!) ]

Edited 2013-12-01 22:59 (UTC)

Well, yeah. I guess if it's something super awful maybe. Then it'd make sense.
Maybe it's not really gone, but if you can't remember it does it really matter? Because it might as well be gone, right?

Selphie can keep him. Liking trains is one thing, but that's just creepy.
Right? Diablos always gave me goosebumps. He's always feels kind of oily and gross too or is that just me?

[Hey, he's a giant bird slug thing get it straight.]

Of course you do.
I'd have to call first. Otherwise you might not be home! You seem to be out more than you're there after all.
Thanks, I'll hold you to that sometime!
I like most people, so that's not really a surprise you know.
I guess you could just say that we've all grown up.
Going backwards is fine if it's from acting like a forty year old you know, so I think you're okay.

[Just had to work some teasing into that, break up the serious a little.
Truthfully she's not entirely sure what Quistis means, but that's somewhat to be expected given how different they are.]

You always offer a certain perspective that helps me approach things with a different sort of clarity.

I don't know what it is. I think it's some sort of inherent ability? Perhaps we should summon him when we interrogate people from now on. Not even to attack, just to be in the same area with someone.

[ WOW, THAT'S A TECHNICALITY? ]

Well, my phone is always on.
And it isn't a coincidence that I'm not often at home.
Ha ha. I get it, I'm a little... well. Curmudgeony? Something like that.
But it really is strange. I feel like I take a step forward, then two back, then three forward and... you get the point.
It's a bit messy.
But I don't dislike it.

[ Not that this explanation offers any more insight into what she's saying. ]

Um, thanks I think?

[She's pretty sure that's a compliment but at the same time she's not completely positive it is either. Sorry Quistis.]

Well he does look pretty scary! I think I'd confess to doing anything if he was looming over me. Brrr, getting chills just thinking about it!

[Better giant bird slug than a creepy wind bag?]

Yeah, that might be a good idea.
You know maybe I'll get a job just so I have a reason to not be home.
[Poor Roy, this totally backfired on him in a big way.]
You? Stubborn? There's no way!
I think it's because you're too close to yourself to see it maybe? Sometimes you can see things clearer from farther away, but it's not like you can really distance yourself from yourself.

[Very succinct. Good job Rinoa.]

It's a compliment, I promise.
Being able to see things from a different viewpoint is a desirable quality.

It's a good way to meet people here and integrate yourself.
I know you're not a SeeD, but I imagine you can figure that it's part of protocol in this situation.
Although it almost feels weird to follow protocol now.
I feel like I belong here, I guess?

[ She's laughing on the other end. ]

I know, it's a novel idea.
Me being stubborn.
But yes, I think that... it's easier to see things in other people sometimes than yourself.
And it's easier to see things in yourself when you extract yourself from what makes you most comfortable.
Strange how that goes.

:)

[Wow, they've come so far from the Odine bangle fiasco haven't they.]

Since you're the only actual SeeD here, I'm totally okay with acting as your backup like a proper SeeD would!
Everything does seem really nice here, so I think I know what you mean.

[It's nice, being able to tease each other like this. She really appreciates it.]

Maybe that's why we've grown so much. There's always been someone else around to put out our issues and I'm pretty sure none of us have been comfortable lately.

[ Welcome to the future! But even then, part of Quistis's reaction had been out of just... well. It was complicated. Part of it was her bottling in her feelings about Seifer's supposed death, taking out petty jealousy (not even necessarily related to Seifer) out on her, and a million other tiny little things. She could have explained the situation more succinctly, but she had been frustrated, too. She was a civilian and the fact she felt the need to insert herself where she was told not to just to "prove" herself, ugh.

She doesn't want to think about it. ]

Hopefully it will not come to that.
I'm hoping that things remain as quiet and comfortable as they've been.
I've never really lived a "quiet" life as a civilian. I'm so use to fighting.

[ She keeps her concerns to herself (and, of course, broods about them. Fighting is what she does. She feels useless here. She defines herself as a member of Garden, as a top-ranking SeeD. Neither of those things exist here and she's not sure how to identify herself anymore. ]

Something like that.
Being with people all the time like we are, we're sure to forge bonds.
I know you don't have the same memories and connection that the rest of us do, but that doesn't make you any different.
I think that just like we all belong together that you also belong with us.
And if we were to forget again, that we would all find our way back to one another. Somehow.

[ They didn't forget, but that's what will happen with Time Compression, right? Proof enough, there. ]

[Months later and she still feels the need to prove herself more often than not. She loves her friends deeply, but they're all so good at what they do! It's both intimidating and depressing at the same time since she's still convinced she doesn't measure up to them at all.

The past is the past for a reason, they totally don't have to talk about it. Ever.]

Well of course! Being backup is good for things that aren't fighting too you know.
[Shopping, date advice, and random dumb are all viable options. Though maybe this just shows she has a weird idea of how it is for SeeDs who knows.]
Well you've got a chance now! So we should make the most of it.

Wow! You really mean it? I know I'm not a SeeD, but I'll do my best to stay with everyone.
[No more trying to get locked into living comas honest!]
Of course! [Oh man, Rinoa's in fine spirits now.] It's a whole new world here and we still found each other!

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